Love, Life and Loss

Photo by Aung Soe Min on Unsplash

I finished the novel on Sunday afternoon.

It was good. 

It is over 48 hours later and I am still thinking about it. 

I didn’t see the plot twist coming until it hit me as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. The author did his job. I am an “all in” reader and I was invested in these characters. I am sure my husband would’ve read between the lines, realized what the true conflict was, and predicted the ending - but I did not. 

Relating to the author’s description of the couple’s romance and love, I was rooting for their separation to result in reconciliation and the book to end in that “happily ever after.” However, that author, that really good author, had other ideas . . .  

What novel is this you ask? I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who may pick it up - or for whomever might find it on Netflix or at the local Redbox when they watch the movie version. So, I will not share the title, but it has really made me think and feel and pray . . . 

As a result, I need to write to process these thoughts and feelings and prayers.

The main character spends a great deal of the book “flashing back” in correspondence to his wife. Their relationship from the start was rare and epic, a kind of fantasy, fairy-tale, what every girl grows up longing for. Through his messages to her, I liked her and found myself rooting for her, for him and for them - the identity of the two of them together. 

In the last two chapters, the main character reveals that his wife had died nearly four years before the action of the book even began. For four years he was still just as in love and as dedicated to her has he had ever been. For these four years he had existed by simply putting one foot in front of the other and doing whatever the day in front of him required. As he did so, he continued to buy her flowers, spend time by her side and share his life with her as much as he could. 

There were things left unsaid when she had died. He had regret and carried shame. He felt responsible and longed for forgiveness he felt he didn’t deserve. 

In the middle of this inner turmoil the reader doesn't realize he is in, he meets someone new. Actually, they are thrown together in an impossible, life-and-death situation. They face insurmountable odds and bond through their hardships. He tells her of his wife and when he does, he speaks of her in the present tense - as if she is waiting at home for his return. This new woman in his life trusts that he is married and is envious of this amazing love he shares with his wife. In all ways he stays true to his wife and still sees himself very much married to her. 

In the end, he shares with this new woman the truth about the circumstances that made him a widower. In the end, he is able to love both of them . . . his love for his first love never faded but made him able to love this new lady, but in a different, equally amazing way. In the end, the new woman doesn’t take the place of the dead wife but in respect to her, is able to help him heal. 

As I think about these fictional people, I am well aware that they are very much just that - fictional. There was a lot about the story that could be considered contrived or too coincidental to be true - However, these three individuals were incredibly relatable to me, but I didn’t realize why until this morning. 

My sister-in-law and I have been messaging over Facebook - you know on the “private” Messenger part. I had seen a video posted and thought of her. Not wanting to publicly “tag” her in it, I sent it through Messenger. She responded with a couple of links to articles that reverberated the same ideas. As I read them, I realized that the novel I have just finished is in many ways her life. 

She was not involved in a life-and-death battle for her physical ability to breath, but she has been through the trauma of trying to will her heart to keep beating after the sudden death of my brother-in-law, her daughter’s daddy, the love of her life, her husband - James. 

In complete honesty, she has communicated to me that she has not and will never “move on.” James is still very much a part of her everyday and, because of the love he had for her and she still has for him - this will always be her reality. She will always be his widow. 

This is true but not in spite of her new husband. It isn’t at his expense. He knows he will never replace James and has not tried to do so. Actually, he is pretty remarkable. Somehow he knows that she is able to love him the way she does because of her continued devotion to James. He has lost a wife too and together they can keep their memories of their spouses very much still alive. 

Some people may not get that. They may criticize her or him or them, but if that is the case, then I wonder what exactly those judges actually understand about love and loss and life. 

Through James’ life, the life of my grandmother, the life of my mother-in-law and others, I have received and given love. My understanding of love has grown even in and through their deaths. They have not, nor will they ever be replaced. However,  in their absence I am able to give and receive love from others and from God, Himself. 

He understands my hurt and my pain. He loves me in and through it all. 

His grace has allowed me to put one foot in front of the other and has exponentially grown my my faith through my losses. His resurrection is my hope and His Word promises that what is yet to be is better than what has been. I may not understand that, but I know it’s true. 

This morning my devotion was about how the pain of this life pales in comparison to the eternal glory that is to come. Paul, when he wrote these words, was not belittling the pain of this life, but rather encouraging  the believer with the truth that what comes next is richer, is far better and for them to strive to have an eternal perspective on today’s hurt. 

The love that follows loss of life is so multifaceted and rich. Honestly, I believe it is God-sized and God-given. It shows us more of Him and His character and His love for us. It enables us to love others deeper and live with greater appreciation for His good gifts. 

The novel I finished Sunday was not a “Christian” fiction book. I thought I was reading a suspenseful  survival story. Yet, God spoke to me loud and clear about how He defines love - It is bigger than the love of a spouse. It is greater than the limits that we put on it. It is honestly deeper than our comprehension. 

And this is how He feels toward us . . . 

Good Friday's Cross

Recently, I was excited to attend an event where one of my favorite authors would be speaking. One of my best girlfriends and I grabbed a nice dinner beforehand and we made our way to the venue. Before we found our seats, we saw and connected with ladies from all over town and various phases of our lives.

The worship was on point.

The Holy Spirit moved.

It was definitely where I was supposed to be that night.... but....

I couldn't put my finger on it. My girlfriend and I spoke about it some as we left that night. My sister-in-law also chatted with me about it the next day. Another friend who attended shared with me in the hall at church a couple of days later. - We were all glad we were there. We all felt the Spirit move - yet we all felt something was lacking....


This morning, in my devotional time, on Good Friday - it clicked . . . .

The text that night was Romans 8:1. The title of the tour was "The Freedom Project" and the passage was perfect. The author/speaker effectively and eloquently, transparently and profoundly led the women in attendance to lay down the sins of our past and challenged us to faithfully live out the truth of the verse -

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

By God's grace, He allowed us to feel the pain of exposing our sins . By His grace, we found accountability in confessing them aloud. By grace, we saw our sins for what they are, we felt real regret for their presence and prevalence in our lives, and we were able to feel forgiveness for what had been exposed. 

As one lady yelled from the back of the room, "There is NO CONDEMNATION!" and we all clapped and we all cheered.

So what was the hang up? Why couldn't I just chalk it up to a great night and move on? 

This morning, I read a devotional though by John Piper and he used the word "condemnation" and it all came into a clear focus. He wrote, "The death of Christ secures our freedom from condemnation (Romans 8:1). It is as sure that we cannot be condemned as it is sure that Christ died.... Condemnation is gone not because there isn't any, but because it has already happened..."

There is no condemnation for my sin BECAUSE Jesus took it for me. His death on the cross was the condemnation that my sin deservedly required. Good Friday is "good" because the price for my freedom from condemnation has been paid in full. Good Friday is ALL about condemnation. 

I was thankful for the "late" date of Easter this year. I thought it would give me more time to prepare my heart and the hearts of my daughters. But everything I tried so far this year was feeling coerced and contrived. Nothing was feeling authentic, but more like I was just going through the motions. 

It came to a head at dinner last night as Wally and I tried to talk to the girls about the significance and gravity of the night before Good Friday. Maybe it was Satan's distractions or our lack of prayer, maybe it was our approach or their own internal battle with their unrepentant hearts - but it just wasn't happening. (Honestly, it was most likely a combination of all of those things.)

Disappointment would be a good way to describe my mood as I prayed before bed last night. It had been an overall really good day with lots to be thankful for, but this was not spiritually how I wanted to spend this holy weekend ending in Easter. I asked for His intervention and He definitely delivered this morning. 

As I read my devotionals and felt the ending of the message started by that speaker dawn on my heart, the weight of the glory of Good Friday became real. 

Bible scholars call it "substitutionary atonement." Christ took my place, my punishment, my condemnation, that I may know His freedom, live my created purpose and pursue a relationship with God. 

"It is good to look back and celebrate the rescue of grace. . . . Grace lives a the intersection between clarity of sight and hope for the future." These were a few of the words of Paul David Tripp's in his devotional for today in his book "New Morning Mercies." 

"Intersection" - a crossroads, where two ideas converge . . . My mind went to the vertical and horizontal beams of Good Friday's cross . . . 

At the cross, grace allows me to look back and look within and leave my sins. Grace also enables me to look ahead at my present circumstances and future destinations with hopeful resolve. Vertically, my relationship with God is restored and my future is secured. Horizontally, I can see God restoring and redeeming my past, my relationships and my everything for His purposes. 

This morning, the "therefore" and the "in Christ Jesus" of Romans 8:1 is my mediation and my worship's focus. He heard my prayer last night. He wrapped up the spiritual longing I had been feeling. He began to truly prepare my heart to celebrate why I have no condemnation in Christ Jesus this Easter season. 

Now that He has placed my heart in the right position, I pray that He will use me to influence the other four hearts that call this house home too.... 

(By the way, I hope this author comes back to Clarksville, or Nashville or somewhere close soon . . . I will definitely be buying tickets!)

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

What's Next?

Alright. What's next?

The things that have to be done are done.

The house is pretty clean for once. All 2 and half bathrooms are clean. The laundry is caught up. The girls are doing well in school. There is no crisis at work. My marriage is in a good place.

The calendar is full of the average, ordinary events, but nothing big or demanding is written on any of the squares.

The projects that have been pushed to someday, seem approachable and doable.

Life has a way of coming in and out like the tide. The waves never stop, but with certain phases of the moon, the water seems calmer, nicer and even cleaner. There are definitely phases of storms with all their uncertainty of what could happen next - how high the water might come and what destruction might be left in its path.

Right now though, things are good. I am content. We have found a normal and it isn't crazy. By God's grace, this phase of life is definitely "doable" and that kinda scares me . . .

It leaves me asking Him, "What's next?"

In my devotions and Bible studies, I have been reading over and over again how God's grace isn't always good from our perspective, how I should embrace trials and tribulations as one of His followers, and how if Jesus was a man of sorrows I can expect opportunities to emulate Him in sorrowful times of my own.

One of the take-aways in the Sunday school lesson this morning, was how God's protection, provision and presence goes with us - even if going puts in the fiery furnace of Shadrach, Meshach and Adednego. These guys stood firm on their solid knowledge of their God and told the king that even if God didn't save them from the fire, He was still God and still worth dying for.

I know God uses the calm periods in-between life's storms to prepare us for what's ahead. He teaches us the truths we need while we are in the light, so He can develop them in the dark when it is hard to see, hard to trust, and hard to go on.

So, I find myself questioning and thinking, "What's next?"

Is some bad news coming with the next ring of the phone? Is there a hard situation on the horizon that I need to be poised to work through? Is that pain that won't leave my knee a thing? Should I make a doctor's appointment?

Or has God placed me in this current phase because He is wanting something more for me or something else from me?  Is there something I am missing that I should be doing? Is there a relationship I could be working on? A friend to serve? A ministry to support? To start?

I don't know the answer to the question, "What's next?" But I know He knows and that is enough.

Ruth Chou Simmons of Gracelaced often says, "You don't have to be blooming to be growing." Maybe that is exactly where God has me right now. Maybe He is preparing my heart for hard days ahead. Maybe He is prepping me to take on a new project. Maybe He just wants me to be content with Him and not be looking for whatever's next.

So, I will press on. I will read my Bible and pray. I will worship and press into Him. I will love on my family and serve my people.

And, in the meantime, I might actually get my hall bathroom painted!

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Holding On And Letting Go

Photo by Milada Vigerova

He had only been gone for 15 or so minutes when the phone rang. I had been enjoying the slow start to my Saturday and reading the news on my phone when his picture popped up. Swiping left, I answered his call. What could he had forgotten? He didn't really need anything to help the sweet church lady move into a smaller place.

I could tell instantly by the tone in his voice something wasn't quite right. His words were coming at my ears faster than I could comprehend what he was saying. "A cut . . . a china cabinet . . . I'm okay . . . headed to the ER at Exit 11 . . ."

Trying to assimilate the facts, I stammered out a question or two, still not able to ascertain what had happened. Did he want me to come? Was he sure he was "okay"? Did he think anything was broken?

I was to stay with the girls. He did not want me to come. I needed to wait. He kept saying he was okay.

About an hour and half later, he was on his way home and called again. Eight stitches. The full story - trying to clear the top of the moving van, holding the upper half of Mrs. Evans' china cabinet with the pastor, he slipped, landing on his knees, dropping the solid piece of furniture. It "just happened" to miss crushing his left-hand.

Yes, there had been a lot of blood.
No, he hadn't damaged the furniture.
Yes, it could have been a lot worse.
No, he didn't mean to get out of all the work by injuring himself on the first trip from the house to the truck.

I found myself looking at him randomly all afternoon and into the evening, silently praying, thanking God for His protection, for answering my prayers after the first phone call, and for taking care of my husband in ways I cannot.

At one point, Wally asked me why I kept looking at him "like that." My answer caught in my throat as the realization of what I was feeling bubbled to the surface. As I uttered the words, I fought to keep the hot tears from streaming down my face.

"Believe me, I am very aware that you are the exact age your older brother was when he died."

Saturday, I was faced with my very healthy husband's vulnerability, and, if I am honest, my greatest fear - that he would be taken from me.

On Sunday morning, as I stumbled from my bedroom into the kitchen to start the coffee, I had the fleeting moment when I had forgotten that my oldest daughter spent the weekend away on a church retreat. Seeing her door open and knowing that her bedroom was empty sent a numbing thought through my bleary, barely-awake brain - it wouldn't be long until I awake every morning to find her space empty. College may be a little over two years away, but they will be the fastest two years of my life.

Riley will be gone and the great responsibility to parent and disciple her will look vastly different. Right now, at least I have some kind of control and a greater influence to speak into her life-choices. As she has grown and gotten older, I have realized that she has to learn who she is and be able to make more and more decisions on her own. As she slowly stretches her wings, she has to face her own consequences for those decisions and my role her life, while it doesn't necessarily diminish, it has to change.

This is a hard truth pill to swallow.

She is not the little girl with the Star Wars fascination and collection of small lions she played with in her room. She needs me, but not in the same ways. I miss the grade-school kid she was, but I do love the young woman she is becoming too. I want to hold on to her, but I know I must let her go as well.

Holding on and letting go is a balancing act I am facing with my youngest daughter too. She is set -completely ready in every aspect possible - to start kindergarten in August. Due to the age gaps in between all three of our girls, it will be the first time in 16 years we have not had a preschooler in the house.

No more babies . . .

As I process all of these things, I realize I have to hold all of these relationships - my marriage, my three girls - in open hands before God.

To grasp onto any or all of them too tightly puts them all in the position of idols in my life. No one truly wants to be anyone's idol. What kid, or spouse for that matter, can handle that kind of pressure? Besides, that gapping place in all of us can't be filled by any one person or group of people. God put that hole in us to seek Him and find that only He can fill that void.

It's a total control issue for me. Control -mixed with my own expectations of how I think things "should" be. I continually set myself up for frustration and disappointment. When things don't go how I think they should, or if they don't respond how I think they ought to, then I am angry and even depressed. There is only One who can ultimately control the outcome and I have found Him completely worthy to trust with how things are "supposed to be."

By placing each of "my" people in outstretched, open palms, offering them to the only One who loves them more than I do - I can let them go. My faith isn't in them - their physical presence with me, or how much they need me, or any other validation I could find in them. My faith is in the One who placed them in my life.

He has plans for them. He hears my prayers for them.  He knows what is best for them. He sustains and keeps them.

He knows what is best for me too. He is using them to make me more like Jesus. He beckons me to trust Him even more with them. He sustains and keeps me too.

I'd like to say that that I have figured out this balancing act between holding on and letting go, but the way my fear washed over me Saturday and how I saddened at the sight of open door on Sunday - I know the struggle is real. I can only imagine how I will feel as the first day of school dawns and I watch my two youngest children shuffle up the stairs into the building - one her first day and the other her last first day of elementary school.

I want to believe. I say I trust Him. But my fears and insecurities betray me. Like the solider who sought Jesus to heal his daughter, I come to Him saying I believe but begging Him to help my unbelief all at the same time.

I don't know what He might ask of me in this process of sanctification. But I do know that He is good and is working good - for me and for those I love most.

Perspective Problems

I know that they are cheesy and corny, but I really do like those "trick" photographs where the perspective makes reality look like something that really isn't happening is, in fact, happening.

A quick Google search will yield some pretty creative shots!

The tourists look like they're holding up the leaning Tower of Pisa or, like in the opening of the movie Despicable Me, the guy is "carrying" an Egyptian pyramid on his back. There are YouTube Chanels dedicated to that same kind of trick photography, using perspective to make the eye see things that aren't really there, that aren't really possible.

The guy isn't holding the pyramid or the tower, it just appears that way because of the perspective of the camera's lens. But, what if we didn't know we were being tricked? What if we really thought that a man was carrying a pyramid on his back?

I guess I would make some assumptions about the reality of that pyramid. It must not be as big or as heavy as I was led to believe. Maybe all the pyramids could be moved around this way? What else did I learn about ancient Egyptian history that could be wrong?

Then there were those "Magic Eye" pictures. (Weren't they popular in the 90's?) If you stand in front of one at just the right distance and let your eyes kinda cross or unfocus, you could see a 3D image hidden in the colorful pattern of wavy lines. From dolphins to celebrities, the subject matter that filled these posters sold at the mall kiosks were endless. However, some people never could find the right perspective to ever see anything.

Perspective is everything.

I have been thinking a lot about this fact this weekend.

The Israelites and King Saul saw the giant, Goliath of Gath, and their perspective was all kinds of wrong. The boy shepherd, David, arrives on the scene, but from his vantage point, he was never the underdog. The story of David and Goliath isn't a story on how God helps the weak to beat the strong. Rather it is all about how God uses what we would deem as weak to shame the strong, to prove His power and to show His glory. God doesn't jump on "David's side." David's perspective on the problem is from God's vantage point instead.

The Israelites and King Saul had lost sight of who they were. As God's chosen people, they were guaranteed victory.  They were cowering in fear, demoralized and defeated before the battle even started. All they could see was the intimidating warrior in front of them, forgetting that they were valued and loved by God. They couldn't remember their past, how God has always taken care of them and provided for them. The only future they could see was one of defeat and slavery. David knew who he was. He was God's anointed, future king of Israel. He trusted God's promises and knew that because of God's word to him, he could not fail.

The Israelites and King Saul couldn't see the big picture. God was doing something in their midst, to fulfill His plan and establish His purposes. Even in their cowardice, He was paving the way for that shepherd boy to be eventually accepted as king of Israel. He was laying the groundwork for Jesus' eventual incarnation - He would come from the line of King David. At the time Saul and the people were too consumed with their immediate predicament, that they couldn't see God was actually doing something bigger and higher than they could understand.

The Israelites, King Saul and I have more in common than I want to admit. It doesn't take much for my perspective to be skewed.

First, my problems may not be a 9 foot giant that wants to feed my flesh to the birds of the air, but they can be just as life-threatening and every bit as intimidating. Thankfully, they aren't right now, but I know others who are going through those kinds of trials.

My "Goliaths" really aren't anything to slow me down, except when my perspective is "off" and I allow them to appear bigger than they really are.

Regardless, any Goliath that comes my way IS puny in comparison to God. Just as David rightly viewed God's power and capability over the Philistine warrior's appearance, proper perspective puts any circumstance into its proper place.

Second, I too easily forget who and Whose I am. I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I am fully known - AND even being fully known - the good, the bad and the ugly - I am fully loved. I am adopted by the King of all kings - making me royalty.

When I forget my identity in Christ, I see myself as less than and not good enough. I treat myself poorly and allow others to do the same. I don't fulfill the roles that God intends me to fill. My obedience to Him becomes drudgery. I "have to" instead of I "get to."

When my perspective is self-centered instead of God-centered, sin creeps in. Jealousy, envy, and pride keep my eyes focused on anything except who God says that I am.

Third, despite my life circumstances and how I view myself, God IS doing something bigger than me and my understanding too. His word tells me that He is working and weaving ALL things together for His glory and my good.

Even if my perspective is off, He is still accomplishing His goals. His plans cannot be thwarted or denied. He has the victory over all in this sinful world and nothing is impossible for Him.

I cannot know because it is beyond my comprehension. I cannot see it with a microscope or a telescope because it is more than my mind can take in. His word tells me that what He is doing is more than I can ask for or imagine . . .

Someday, my faith will be sight. I won't have to ask for His perspective because I will see me and this world the same way He does. I will no longer be tricked by a limited perspective and the altered view that comes with it.

In the meantime, I am praying for God's perspective on my circumstances. I am praying to see myself the way He does. I am praying that I would be intentionally aware that He is doing something in and around me that is bigger than me.

Mercy In, Mercy Out

Confession time.

I rank sins.
I judge people.
I make assumptions.
I consider myself better than others.
Somehow I think I am more deserving of God's grace.
I am prideful.

"It's natural to want mercy for yourself but justice for others." -Paul David Tripp

This quote from my devotional this weekend stung.

My ladies' Bible study was on Bathsheba last week. I found myself questioning her motives and wanting to read between the lines to judge her as a naive victim or a cunning, seductive adulteress. The scripture doesn't tell us the condition of her heart or really even any words from her tongue, yet, I wanted to label her and decide whether or not I like her.

As we discussed her fall into temptation the following verse was brought up:

"Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire." James 1:13-14

The very things that tempt us reveal to us what we truly desire. If we didn't desire what tempts then it wouldn't be tempting to us. (The desire for dark chocolate is greater than my desire to lose the weight I put on over the holidays. White chocolate is not tempting to me in the least, because I have no desire for for it.)

David and Bathsheba had a sexual desire and so found temptation in each other's arms. If they had not desired each other, there would have been no temptation. Each of them could have recognized the desire, the temptation and then avoided the sin.

The next verse in James is this:

"Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." James 1:15

David and Bathsheba's sin resulted in a lot of death. Her husband's, other soldiers, their baby . . . The wages of sin is always death and the consequences of sin always weigh heavy on the most innocent. Then and now.

The Holy Spirit pricked my heart in all of this. My desire to judge others is not limited to a dead queen of Israel. My desire to judge others shows the temptation I face to be prideful and self-righteous.

For example:

With many, many other evangelical Christians this week I watched with sadness as the governor of New York signed pro-abortion legislation into law. I read many, many social media posts on both sides of the issue. Feelings are understandably deep and raw.

It is natural to want justice for the loss of lives of the unborn. We are called to stand up for the weak, the vulnerable and the voiceless. My heart breaks for the babies lost to this evil . . .

But my heart also breaks for the momma who feels like she has no choice and for the woman who feels she must choose between her life and her child's.

There are "statistics" and "facts" and "testimonies" that can all be twisted to support any side of any argument. However, as Christians, our eyes have been opened by grace alone to the truth. The god of this world, continues to blind mankind to the horrendous act of child sacrifice to the idols of convenience, greed, and fear. Our desires for these things leads to the temptation to succumb to this evil, lessoning it through "reason," and the sin "fully grown brings forth death."

Satan is our enemy. He is the one tempting us - not the people or governor of New York, not the victim of rape or incest, not the mother who desperately wants the baby that the test has said is not-viable.

If I am not careful, my desire to be right, to judge others, and to see myself as better than will lead me to a place of self-righteous sin. Instead, the Holy Spirit is giving me a different mindset with a fresh understanding.

I hurt for "these" people. I can't imagine being in the position of the mother that is facing those test results - especially if she does not have the hope in Christ that I do. I want to tell them that God does not make mistakes, that He brings good out of bad things and that He still is in the business of confounding doctors and medical professionals.

It is by faith through grace alone that I have the understanding that I do. It is that same faith through grace that reminds me that my sins are just as black as the abortionist doctor. It is that same faith through grace that allows me to leave the justice I seek to God and gives me the ability to share the mercy I have been given to others.

The wages of my sin is death. God has removed my sin from me as far as the east is from the west. He has shown me extreme mercy by taking away the ultimate consequence for my sin. He took it from me and gave it to Jesus. He died in my place. I didn't deserve it. I didn't ask for it. I didn't even know I needed it when He did it.

When I take all this into account, I am in awe . . . Like the Pharisees that slipped away, one-by-one when Jesus told them that whoever was without sin could throw the first stone at the woman caught in adultery, I know that I am the last one to condemn anyone.

When I stop and reflect on the mercy I have received, I have mercy for Bathsheba and I have mercy for all of those caught up in the abortion debate. I cannot judge or condemn. I am not any more worthy to receive His grace than anyone else.

When I contemplate the grace that God has shown me, I am motivated to extend grace to others, to whomever He brings into my life, to minister to them with the same grace and compassion He has bestowed to me. Because He continues to be faithful to show me mercy, so I too can show mercy to others who don't deserve it either.

Tuesday I will go to my board meeting of our local crisis pregnancy center. If I am like Bathsheba and others are only left to judge me by my actions, not knowing my words or motives - my prayer is that they will not doubt the difference God's grace and mercy have made in my life because of how I am able to show it to others.

As He forgives me for my sin, showering me with His mercy and grace, I am able to pour it out on others too. It's not of me. It originates in Him. He gives it to me and, as a result, I can't keep it to myself.

Mercy in, mercy out.

The Meaning of Pro-Life

Pro-Life is SO much more than Anti-Abortion.

It is for every life - the down-syndrome, the homeless, the druggie, the refuge, the convicted rapist and murderer.

It is more than a political talking point or side of a social media argument.

It is how we treat -with respect and love- those with opposing political and social views and ideals, the liberal, the homosexual, the woman who has had an abortion, the if-it-weren't-for-grace-so-would-I.

It is an active investment of our money, our time, our homes, our lives in the messy, broken, hurting lives of people.

Only when we actually live Pro-Life will we be given the platform to explain why life is so precious. When our actions mirror that of Christ's, not motivated by duty, but like His, motivated by love will we be able to speak into the hearts of these lives around us . . .

You are beautifully made in the image of God.
You matter.
You were created with a purpose.

Because of that . . .

You have worth.
You are significant.
You are loved.

All of us, whom He has given life, are important.

Whether it is the cashier at the grocery or the neighbor across the street - God has placed people, lives, all around us to touch, to reach out to with love, to show that we are Pro-Life.

Or maybe we just need to realize, that being Pro-Life should shape how we treat the migrant worker without questioning if he is here illegally or not judging the teen who doesn't understand her value to God and dresses provocatively.

When you say you're Pro-Life, take a moment to consider what that really means.

When you claim to be Pro-Life, be more than anti-abortion . . .

In The Now

I accepted Christ as a 7 year old child. I understood that I was a sinner and that I could not save myself. I knew I did not want to go to hell.

I was baptized and fully confident in my "fire insurance." If I were to die, I was assured that I would go to heaven.

My past was redeemed, my future was secure, but what about what happens in between?

Have you ever noticed how much of the Bible is written in the present tense? I don't just mean the letters in the New Testament. The Old Testament's psalms, proverbs and more are written loaded down with the truth of who God is and what God does in the present tense.

My devotional this week looked at the present tense of just one verse, Galatians 2:20:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (emphasis mine)

The present tense truth is based on the past tense truth of who Jesus is and what Jesus did - "I have been crucified with Christ . . . . in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." 

David Mathis was quoted by Desiring God on Instagram the same morning I read the devotional mentioned above. Mathis also reminded me of the "present tense" of God's Word. He said, "God's written word . . . is what the Holy Sprit 'says.' Not just 'said.' Not just 'has spoken.' But 'says.' He is speaking."

Then there was this quote on a church sign on my way to work: "Don't say God isn't speaking if your Bible is closed." 

God is not done working in us just because we have been saved. He isn't just waiting to call us home for some future reward. He has a plan for our here and now. He wants to grow us and He wants to talk to us through His Word. 

Our present tense is a big deal. 

In middle school, the idea of discipleship was explained to me and I began the "now" part of my faith. I learned how to have a quiet time, to read my Bible, to talk to others about my faith, and other spiritual disciplines. 

Middle school was a long time ago. There have been parts of my "now" journey where I slipped into complacency and self-righteousness in those disciplines. I practiced a religion instead of pursuing a relationship. But through it all, God was patiently kind with me. He never left me. He continued to lovingly pursue me. 

A big part of the reason I am writing this blog is so I have a place I can chronicle my present tense, what God is teaching me right now. 

Last week was a long week. In some aspects, it was a hard week. But God . . . as I was in His Word, He did speak to me. He lived in me by the faith that He gives me. faith in who He is and what He has done (exactly like the verse above). As I sought Him, He revealed Himself to me. Yes, it was a hard week, but He was a good, good God, faithful in all the ways. AND that faith, my faith, grew. 

I want to share one more quote from my devotional this week: "We need to study, examine, teach, preach, counsel, and encourage one another with the nowism of the gospel of Jesus Christ." 

Until I hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want, no I need, to live in the now of what God is teaching me, doing in me and accomplishing through me. 

Yesterday is gone. 

Tomorrow is not promised. 

What does the "now" of today look like? What He is teaching me through His Word? How am I applying that truth? 

My "now" with Jesus this week proved over and over again the truth of who He is in my "now." 

The gospel IS good news just not for my past (covering my sins) or for my future (the promise of paradise) but especially for all that takes place in between. 

First Things First

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

The first place I am seeking to be intentional is in my relationship with God. Everything else falls into the category of "all these things," and I am claiming His promise that those "things" will be "added to" me as I intentionally pursue Him first. 

• When I look at my life from His perspective, I am able to see "things" from the vantage point of eternity and the momentary circumstances soon pale in comparison. 
• Remembering that my life is not my own, but was bought with a price, points me back to the gospel and how it puts "all these things" in their proper place. 
• Knowing that my spiritual life supersedes and impacts all other aspects of "my" life, the truth of the above scripture has already proven trustworthy throughout my life. God has never failed to keep this Word to me. 

So, how am I being intentional in my walk with Christ? Where does my intentionality start? While I am still praying through the specifics, (I understand that "the experts" insist that resolutions and goals need to be specific to be successful.) I am hesitant to make some grand proclamation of some plan that I can't follow through with . . . 

I know I NEED to develop my time in the Word AND my time in prayer. As a result, here is my plan three days in: 

I am reading Paul David Tripp's New Morning Mercies. It's a daily "gospel" devotional, with each entry pointing the reader back to the truth of the good news. It isn't long but it's got depth and every page ends with a short scripture reading to meditate on. 

To keep it from becoming just one more thing I read in the mornings -along with news, emails and Facebook, I have begun a journal of sorts. After the date, I am copying/writing a few quotes of Tripp's and my own that I want to reflect on throughout the day. Then, a simple one line or two, I am writing a bottom line prayer, asking God to take my intentions and do with them whatever He will. 

Realizing my prayer life needs more intentionality than this, I expect and plan to be more intentional in how and when I pray. 

Realizing that I need to be in the Word more than this, I have a couple more books that I can't wait to dig into and read this year too. (Thanks Momma for the great Christmas gifts: None Like Him, by Jen Wilkin and Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simmons)

Realizing that when I am intentional in seeking Him first, "all these things," aka - my other areas of New Year's resolutions, "will be added." The health goals, the job goals, the personal/relationship goals will come too. They will come as a result of my pursuit of the first goal - to intentionally seek Him first. 

So, what are your goals for the New Year? Let me encourage you to put seeking Him first as first on your list . . . Test God and see if He doesn't keep His Word to you too. See that if you seek Him first, He doesn't help you meet the rest of your goals along the way. 

Who knows? Maybe as we place Him first, He will edit the rest of our goals? Either way, we know that He is good and the that He finishes what He starts. Sounds like a good resolution/accountability partner to me!

Life and Death and Christmas

Three days after Christmas I sat in a sanctuary still beautifully decorated for the Christmas season. Greenery and candles with white lights were intermingled along the stage in an elegant way. To the left hand side, surrounded by the decorations was a simple feeding trough, manger with a doll wrapped in swaddling cloths, Baby Jesus.

Just a few feet from this joyous, beautiful scene sat my grandmother's open casket.

Life and Death and Christmas.

Yes, Jesus was the baby born to die and, by doing so, give life.

Yes, because Jesus lived and died and lived again, my grandmother had been dead in her sin, but by the gift of faith God gave her, she now, physically dead, lives eternally.

Yes, because Jesus lived and died and lived again, I have hope. Hope that my sins and old nature have been put to death. Hope that I will one day be reunited with my Grandmother in an eternal life after my physical death. Hope that I can live this day the way God created me live it - alive in Christ.

I would not have chosen this week to have been the week when my grandmother died and her earthly life remembered. There will not be a Christmas that passes that I will not stop and reflect on her passing. It could be an incredibly sad thing to lose such a close loved one to death during this season the is supposed to be so festive.

But instead of just commemorating these days associated with her death with sadness, and loss - I will forever remember the Baby Jesus beside my grandmother's coffin. I celebrate the reality of Christ's incarnation and advent with a greater, deeper joy than I could not have otherwise celebrated.

Just take a few minutes to reflect on this Christmas carol below. The tune and words are basic enough to teach preschoolers, but the words will forever be so much deeper and more meaningful to me. . .

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.

The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay.

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.


I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my cradle 'til morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.

Hard Truth and Ridiculous Grace

I never do this, but I did this once. (Actually, I really liked the convenience so it is highly likely I will do it again!)

The song on the radio had this fantastic phrasing and I had to purchase this song.

It made me late to pick up my middle daughter from her friend's sleepover, but I opened up iTunes and and bought Tauren Wells' song, "Known."

The line I couldn't get over is in the chorus: "It's not one or the other. It's hard truth and ridiculous grace."

Neither the song or the phrase are "Christmasy." There's no mention of Jesus' birth or a star or wise man or anything - but this Christmas this song and this phrase is at the center of my worship.

To prepare for Advent this year I have been reading through Paul David Tripp's Advent devotional.   
Around the time I heard the song, I had read one of the devotional. The song and the devotion combined have transformed my holiday focus and, as a result, how I am approaching everything Christmas this year.

The gist behind the specific devotional had everything to do with receiving news...

Most of the time, when given the option, people would rather have the bad news before the good news. We hope the good news will out weigh the bad news, or at least help us feel better about the bad news.

Good news is only relative to the recipient as good if their situation deems it so. For example, for Bill Gates, stumbling upon a $20 bill is no big deal, but to me, my day's been made! And a new medical breakthrough might be considered newsworthy to most but it is only truly good news to those that the advancement will help and heal.

Tripp contends that the Good News of the manger can only be appreciated as "good" when we stop to consider the bad news that deems it necessary. Yes, God sent us the gift of Jesus because He loves us, but it is the bad news of our sin and its consequences that makes Jesus' birth a requirement.

This is "hard truth."

We are separated from our Creator. We are unable to fulfill the reason for our creation and live the way we were made to live . We are delusional, fully believing that we are self-sufficient with no need of God. We are under God's holy judgment, deserving of death. We are hopeless, seeing and knowing that we and the world we live in is broken and that we have no way to fix it.

This "hard truth" is indeed "bad news."

Ephesians 2:4 starts with one of my favorite phrases in the Bible, "But God..." This is where the "good news" that the angel told the scared shepherds comes in. This is where the song has everything to do with Christmas!

Through the gift God gave us in Jesus we receive "ridiculous grace."

Let's look at the grace part first. Through Jesus we are given what we don't deserve - that is the very definition of grace.

We now have unity with God and fellowship with our Creator. We are enabled to live as He created us to live, loving Him and our neighbor with all our heart and soul and mind. We have been given the truth and the truth as set us free. We are now alive in Christ, no longer facing death. We have hope because we understand what God has provided.

Now, take a minute to reflect on how "ridiculous" that this grace is . . .  That God would send His Son, who willingly humbled Himself to be born of His creation as a helpless, completely dependent baby to grow up and one day allow Himself to die in my place IS ridiculous!

This "ridiculous grace" is indeed "good news."

The angels called it "good news of great joy" in Luke 2. Reflecting on the truth and depth of this "good news" has transformed my holiday season. It has become more spiritual this year and less stressful. As I have contemplated this "hard truth and ridiculous grace" everything else -all the stresses and challenges. at work and at home- have assumed their proper subordinate positions in my priorities. My perspective has altered and the joy of the season isn't in my family or my service to others or my expectations of what I think Christmas should look like.

My joy this Christmas is in the real Reason for the season. This year, that truly isn't a lip service or a rote, #thisiswhatimsupposedtosay response. This Christmas my worship and celebration is motivated by "hard truth and ridiculous grace."

What's motivating your Christmas this year?

The Lack of Anniversary Cards

I thought I would drop into Walgreen's and quickly and grab an anniversary card for my love. I only had a few minutes, but since my children were not in tow, I assumed that it wouldn't take long.

It took longer than I expected.

First, I scoured the selection for "Anniversary Cards for Husbands" and began picking them up and reading them. Not finding anything that really seemed to fit, I moved on to "Anniversary Cards for Us." Again, I was disappointed by the cheesy prose and lousy use of language. I put back card after card knowing that this one wasn't right and that one was simply wrong.

I left the store frustrated and empty-handed. Not that I mind making my man a card, but I really thought I could have simply added my own thoughts to a store-bought sentiment. His love language is "Words of Encouragement" so I already knew that I would want to make whatever I bought personal to speak to our 20 years of marriage.

In the couple of hours that have passed, I have realized why none of the greetings cards worked. They ALL left out the third and the most important member of our marriage covenant to each other. All the cards were void of any mention of the God who made my groom, Wally, and I one.

In many of the cards, the gushing words, while extremely sincere, communicate a huge amount of responsibility onto the spouse. Our husbands are never meant to "complete us," "be our rock," or "the source of all our happiness." If I approach my man this way, I am asking him to fulfill a role in my life that only God can. If I do this, he is set up to fail and I am poised to be disappointed.

But when I find my completion, my rock and my happiness in God, I free Wally to be the man God created him to be - not some impossible, super-human facade I have concocted in my dreams. And freeing Wally from those expectations, God has given me an Ephesians 3:20 husband - he is immeasurably more than I could ever ask for or imagine.

God, through Wally, has changed my definition of who a husband is and what a husband does.

Marriage, between a man and a woman, was God's design from the very start of creation. Making both in His image, the groom and the bride have unique and important roles to fulfill. Our society and culture through the generations of my family and media-hyped fairy tales, led me to expect Wally to be and do things in particular ways. These expectations of mine made our first couple of years of marriage really rough on both of us.

Yet, God's grace is SO good.

As HE has grown us to be more like Him, HE has grown us closer together. When we are each individually focused on Him, HE reinforces the bond between the three of us.

Our marriage is what it is not because we gutted it out or did anything on our own. Our marriage is good because of the way God has worked in us. We have seen 20 years together because of what God has done and what He continues to do. It is His provision and His protection.

Marriage itself is intended to be symbolic of Jesus and His relationship with His Bride, The Church. By asking God to intervene and protect our marriage, we are inviting God to be Lord over it. By protecting and growing our marriage, God is protecting and proclaiming Jesus' reputation and relationship with The Church. When Wally and I are both pursuing God's will, God will make sure He is glorified in our marriage relationship.

None of the cards I read acknowledged these truths.

I wanted to buy a card that thanks my husband for the way he pursues God, for the way he points me to God and for the way he personifies God the Father to our daughters.

This is what we celebrate when we go out to eat for our anniversary. We remember what God has done for us. We thank Him for how He has provided and protected. We dream about the plans He has for us. We acknowledge His crucial role in our marriage.

Maybe there were no cards that "fit" for our anniversary because too many couples are lacking this sustaining third Person in their marriages?

There is no secret to our marriage. It is our shared prayer that our relationship will only loudly proclaim God's goodness and grace. In the ups and through the downs, may He alone be shown in the love story He is writing with our lives.

I will write Wally. I will give him my thoughts on our anniversary. I will be sappy and share an inside joke or two with my best friend. I will make sure he feels appreciated and valued. But my words to him will be laced with how God has, is, and will continue to sustain us.

A "Way" In A Manger

The advertisement on the back of our insurance company's monthly magazine is fantastic. I had never heard of the company, but they definitely got my attention.

Across the top of their ad was this statement, printed this way:

"aWAY in a manger

was born on the first Christmas night."

Under that was a picture of a manger on the right and in the sun set picture of the left can be found the three crosses of Calvary. 

Then along the bottom of the picture reads:

"There has been only one Christmas, the rest are anniversaries." 

I haven't been able to get this thought, this image out of my head since. My pastor mentioned the ad from the pulpit on Sunday morning. It made an impression on him too. The Christmas hymn, "Away In A Manger" has taken on a new meaning I won't soon forget. 

But as I've pondered it, I have also reflected how Jesus said He was THE way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6 - emphasis mine)

The ladies and I that meet for Bible Study on the last Friday of the month examined the names of Christ in relation to advent just this past Friday. (Check out this great resource - Unwrapping the Names of Jesus) We looked at that verse from John, but focused on how He called Himself "The Truth." Just as He isn't "a" truth, He is THE truth. 

There isn't another way to God. There isn't another truth to find. There isn't another true life out there to live or obtain. 

All other ways to God will fail. All other thoughts on Truth are Satan's attempts to distort Jesus. All other lives that are lived without Him are mere shadows and facades of what they were intended to be. 

Jesus was, is and will always be THE WAY that was born in a manger.  

Disney Cast Members In Real Life

She was 20 years and from New Zealand. I asked her how her parents felt about her being so far away and she kinda laughed. "Well, they were concerned about the hurricane. I didn't even know about the hurricane!"

My new friend, Christyana, was managing the Fast Pass Kiosk of the Frozen Sing-a-Long Show at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

We were there early for the 7:30 show, the last show of the day, and I began our short conversation by commenting on her accent.

The Disney Parks are staffed by countless people varying in ages and backgrounds from literally all around the globe. They are all called "Cast Members" whether they dress up as a mouse or clean the bathrooms. Their name tags are a simple oval shape with their name and hometown. And they are literally EVERYWHERE.

Disney is known for their immaculately clean parks and excellent customer service - all accomplished by Cast Members.

As a guest in the park it would be extremely easy to take these people and their jobs for granted. They are rushed by, overlooked and often ignored. They deal with grumpy, sweaty, people who often feel entitled because of the price they may have paid for admittance. Yet, they ALL seem to smile and speak in pleasant tones even when explaining why your child cannot climb on the landscaping.

In the last year, we had a good friend spend not one but two semesters working a ride in Pandora of the Animal Kingdom Park. Cast Members took on a new meaning to us as we visited Walt Disney World over fall break. We had listened to her stories and had asked her a bazillion questions, learning how often Cast Members just longed to be acknowledged as people too.

While on past trips we had always tried to be nice to Cast Members, this trip we were intentional to look Cast Members in the eyes, to say a genuine "thank you" and, when we could, strike up a conversation. . .

That's how I met Christyana. She wasn't just a show kiosk attendant. She IS a person with a background and a story and a soul. She is one of nearly 60,000 that may work there during a peak season.

But there is only one Christyana. God made her, loves her, sent His Son to die for her and wants a relationship with her - just like every other Cast Member - and every other "incidental" person that I share the road with, stand in line at the grocery with and sit with in the dentist's waiting room.

Knowing in my heart that God is sovereign and that nothing happens accidentally, my intentionality at Disney NEEDS to carry over to my everyday life here at home too.

I often tell the teens in my Sunday school class that it isn't accidental that they sit where they do in their classes. Even if their teacher allowed them to choose their seat, God put them there with those kids and that teacher for His purpose.

If I hold to His control over ever incident and nothing is coincidental, then that truth carries over in other places too.  

The chances I will ever see or speak to Christyana again aren't great. I didn't speak to her about Jesus. I know nothing about her faith - but I do know about mine.

My faith doesn't allow me to blow past and not engage those around me and it compels me to speak up, reaching out to acknowledge the humanity and Imago Dei, the image of God, He intentionally placed in us all.

My prayer is that as I do engage people in conversation that the Holy Spirit will move and speak and use these encounters to draw others to Himself.

My calling is to be obedient to that compulsion, trusting that God knows the heart and the past of the individual I am engaged with and that He will take care of all the rest - whatever it needs to be. I just need to see others the way He does and obey.

My husband, Wally, and I have said since our first joint visit to Disney World ten years ago that when we "retired" we would move to Orlando and get jobs as Cast Members. Loving the discount and being assured that our girls would bring their families to visit were two of the perks we listed as reasons for this plan. Another reason would be to set up an intentional ministry to Cast Members. Maybe they would come from all over the globe thinking that they were coming to work at "The Happiest Place on Earth," but maybe, God in His sovereignty would have them coming there to meet Him. Maybe God would use us to reach them.

Maybe there are Cast Members here in our every day life that God wants to reach through us now.

Lord, open my eyes to see the people "in the background" of my life. Help me to see them the way that you do. Find me obedient to the prompting of Your Spirt and use me however You will to do whatever You would have me to do. 

My Present Tense

Conjugating Verbs

I have not done intentional conjugating of any verbs since my collegiate Spanish classes.

Probably only my English grammar friends would even know what I am talking about.

It is one of those skills we are taught in elementary school. Most likely, we wondered why our teachers would waste our time on worksheets where we would have to write out what we did yesterday, what we are doing today and what we would do tomorrow. Yet, we can now thank those teachers for making sure we sound like well-educated and well-rounded individuals.

Verb Tenses.

We use them all the time to convey meaning and communicate motives.

Yesterday, I drank coffee.
Today, I drink coffee.
Tomorrow, I will drink coffee.

But we don't often stop and think about how those tenses infiltrate our spiritual life.

Think about it this way -

Yesterday, I was saved from my sin.
Today, I am being saved from my sin.
Tomorrow, I will be saved from my sin.

All of these sentences are true. All of them are Biblically supported. All of them can be pretty confusing.

People who study the Bible and like to use big words have terms for each of these spiritual verb tenses:

• Justification - I have been "justified" and saved from my sins through the death of Christ. Once for all. Done. Past Tense.
• Sanctification - I am being "sanctified" and am being saved from my sins through the work of the Holy Spirit. I am currently in the process of being made like Christ. Taking off the old sinful self and learning to put on the new. In Process. Happening Now. Present Tense.
• Glorification - I will be "glorified" and will no longer have to fight sin. Christ will return, completing the work He began in me and establishing His rule over this sinful world once and for all. Perfection will be achieved. My hope is not in vain. It will be finished. Will Happen. Future Tense.

The three terms are intricately combined and dependent on each other, all a part of the salvation process of the believer and all a part of who I am as a Christ-follower.

As a kid, I was justified. I was saved from the penalty of my sin. I acknowledged that I could not save myself through religious rites or spiritual acts. Jesus died in my place, for my sins, fulfilling the debt I owed my Creator, the Righteous God of the universe.

It was then, when I was justified, that my current, present journey of being sanctified began. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I began seeking to make Jesus the Lord of my life. I still sin. I still live with the consequences of my sin and the sins of others. This world I live in is still under the curse of sin - with all the diseases and disasters that fill the news headlines each and every day. Some days are easier than others. Some days are downright hard. Yet through His word, I know that each day is a gift with new mercies He has provided to go with it. I am learning His ways. I am experiencing His presence. I am expecting His promises.

Ah! His promises - that is the future I hold to, the one I know to be true. That He will complete the work He began in me and that He has gone to prepare a place for me, are only two of the many promises that I cling to on my darkest days. The future will indeed be glorious! As the promised perfection is eventually realized, glorification will be complete.

I am happy to talk about my past and explain how I was saved, when I was justified. And I can get easily excited to talk about my future, when my faith will truly become sight and I will see my Jesus face-to-Face.  But it is this present tense, this current process of sanctification that I find myself  is what I wish to blog about.

This "Present Tense" of my salvation is what I am writing - how the Spirit is working in me as I am working out my salvation, my struggle with sin and my desire to be like Jesus.

I firmly believe that God has placed me where He has, surrounding me with specific relationships in various circumstances in order to actively, intentionally, mold me into the person He would have me to be - for my good, but ultimately His glory.

This is the place where I am processing this "process." I know me and I know I best comprehend what God is teaching me when I can take the time to think through what He is doing in me by putting it  into words, sentences and paragraphs someone else can understand. This is a forum for me to be intentional in my sanctification process - to write out "The Present Tense."

If you're not a believer in Christ and you read this blog, I pray that you might be able to recognize the honesty and transparency in which I hope to write. I also pray that in that "real" you will see my dependence on Christ and His Word. Ultimately, it IS my understanding that my "Present Tense" is NOT about me but obviously, always all about Him.

If you're a believer and you read this blog, my prayer is that you would find encouragement by seeing how our present tenses have some similarities. God has given us a community to support one another. I believe it is built and strengthened through being real with each other. Prayerfully, you would find some of that here.

If you've read this far, leave me a comment. Let me know if my "grammar-lesson-meets-Biblical-truth" makes any sense . . .