Redeeming Valentine's Day

It was the first time we had hired a babysitter. It was about that time of the afternoon when we needed to start to get ready to go out. But, we knew something wasn't right. Our oldest was three months shy of her first birthday and she wasn't quite herself. The baby thermometer confirmed our suspicions. She had a fever and our Valentine's Day plans were now kaput.

Wally could tell I was disappointed. He knows my thing with expectations. He also knew I couldn't leave my baby. I don't remember if there were tears involved, but he jumped into action, calling my favorite Italian restaurant and ordering our "go-to" dishes for carry out instead.

While he was gone to pick up our dinner, I caught his enthusiasm for our plan B and set about to surprise him with a beautifully set table. The seldom, if-ever-before-used china and crystal were set on the good cloth tablecloth awaiting his return. We plated the steak, chicken and pasta from the styrofoam take-out containers and sat down to candlelight and soft music.

Riley rested contentedly in her bouncy seat and we had our Valentine's date. No, it wasn't what we had planned or anticipated, but it was wonderful. We celebrated that God had given us each other and the sweet, little one who cooed from the floor. We talked about how nice it was to be home and not fighting the crowded restaurant with long lines and chaotic atmosphere.

I believe it was that Valentine's Day we decided to redeem the holiday.

The fourteenth of February can be so polarizing and stressful. It makes some feel lonely and others feel let down. Card and chocolate manufacturers compete for our money. While jewelers, florists and perfume companies do the same. If you aren't "with" somebody, you wonder what is wrong with you. If you are "with" someone, you wonder if your gift is sending the "right" message or is the "right" size. In our over-sexed culture, romance has taken on new meanings. Without a biblical worldview,  people will be let down believing that this distorted definition of love is all there is. It is easy to become cynical and skeptical. Honestly, I can't blame anyone for discarding the whole holiday if this is what they are celebrating.

On the Valentine's Day described above, we had no idea that God would bless us with two more daughters to steward their hearts. We encourage Disney princess movies and Jane Austin novels. They witness kisses and embraces between their parents and know we have date nights and anniversary get-a-ways. They know we pray for their future spouses and that we long for God to bless them with strong biblical marriages to strong Christian men.  But . . . we pray for much more than that for them . . .

. . . We pray for them to intimately know the God who intimately knows them AND loves them with an amazing love beyond their comprehension.

We decided on that Valentine's night sixteen years ago to incorporate our kids into our Valentine's Day plans. We would eat a GOOD meal full of our favorites, either gathered from various restaurants or prepared in our own kitchen. We would break out the china and use the silver-plate. We would use this over-commercialized holiday to intentionally teach our girls about the love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Boys will only let girls down. God did not design anyone person to complete any other person. That longing and desire that my daughters will one day have can ONLY be fulfilled completely in the love that God provides. Any other way will only lead to stressful relationships and disappointment. ONLY God can love them they way He created them to be loved. I want them to know this love.

Romance is not dead. Sure, chivalry might be, but true self-sacrificing, promise-keeping, faithful devotion, always-being-there commitment can ONLY be found in the love that God loves us with. No matter how wonderful he is, he will one day, somehow disappoint them and let them down. God alone will always be there for them. I want them to know this love.

No one can blame the spouse that bails on the marriage when their partner has broken their vows and been unfaithful. But, God forgives our indiscretions and paid the debt of our continued unfaithfulness. He knows our worst thoughts, wrong motivations and our out-right willful sins yet continues to be lovingly faithful to us. He doesn't overlook our short-comings but ONLY He can transform our offenses into His righteousness through the death of His Son. I want them to know this love.

This love that never fails will never let us down. This love is worth celebrating with the good china and rich food. This love should be remembered and talked about and given recognition. Our family chooses to do this on Valentine's Day.

My girls know I am crazy "in" love with their father. They know how handsome I find him and how devoted he is to me as well. We would all agree that one of our greatest blessings is the love that he and I share. I will not diminish it, but I will say that as great and as special as it is - our romantic love pales in comparison to the love that God has lavishly, continually, bestowed upon us.

We will exchange small gifts and cards. As their first Valentine, Wally will get the girls modest presents too, showing them his love for them in a tiny tangible way. He models for them something far greater than how they should expect a man to treat them someday. He is modeling for them everyday how their Heavenly Father loves them.

This intentionality has led me to use the seemingly endless stream of diamond, perfume and edible arrangement commercials to cultivate prayers of thanksgiving. By His grace alone, I am the recipient of the most amazing love. This is the love that I am choosing to celebrate this week.

I posted this tonight, so you might be challenged to do the same - redeem Valentine's Day. Use this secular holiday to commemorate and celebrate the sacred love that God has, is and will continue to give us.

Perspective Problems

I know that they are cheesy and corny, but I really do like those "trick" photographs where the perspective makes reality look like something that really isn't happening is, in fact, happening.

A quick Google search will yield some pretty creative shots!

The tourists look like they're holding up the leaning Tower of Pisa or, like in the opening of the movie Despicable Me, the guy is "carrying" an Egyptian pyramid on his back. There are YouTube Chanels dedicated to that same kind of trick photography, using perspective to make the eye see things that aren't really there, that aren't really possible.

The guy isn't holding the pyramid or the tower, it just appears that way because of the perspective of the camera's lens. But, what if we didn't know we were being tricked? What if we really thought that a man was carrying a pyramid on his back?

I guess I would make some assumptions about the reality of that pyramid. It must not be as big or as heavy as I was led to believe. Maybe all the pyramids could be moved around this way? What else did I learn about ancient Egyptian history that could be wrong?

Then there were those "Magic Eye" pictures. (Weren't they popular in the 90's?) If you stand in front of one at just the right distance and let your eyes kinda cross or unfocus, you could see a 3D image hidden in the colorful pattern of wavy lines. From dolphins to celebrities, the subject matter that filled these posters sold at the mall kiosks were endless. However, some people never could find the right perspective to ever see anything.

Perspective is everything.

I have been thinking a lot about this fact this weekend.

The Israelites and King Saul saw the giant, Goliath of Gath, and their perspective was all kinds of wrong. The boy shepherd, David, arrives on the scene, but from his vantage point, he was never the underdog. The story of David and Goliath isn't a story on how God helps the weak to beat the strong. Rather it is all about how God uses what we would deem as weak to shame the strong, to prove His power and to show His glory. God doesn't jump on "David's side." David's perspective on the problem is from God's vantage point instead.

The Israelites and King Saul had lost sight of who they were. As God's chosen people, they were guaranteed victory.  They were cowering in fear, demoralized and defeated before the battle even started. All they could see was the intimidating warrior in front of them, forgetting that they were valued and loved by God. They couldn't remember their past, how God has always taken care of them and provided for them. The only future they could see was one of defeat and slavery. David knew who he was. He was God's anointed, future king of Israel. He trusted God's promises and knew that because of God's word to him, he could not fail.

The Israelites and King Saul couldn't see the big picture. God was doing something in their midst, to fulfill His plan and establish His purposes. Even in their cowardice, He was paving the way for that shepherd boy to be eventually accepted as king of Israel. He was laying the groundwork for Jesus' eventual incarnation - He would come from the line of King David. At the time Saul and the people were too consumed with their immediate predicament, that they couldn't see God was actually doing something bigger and higher than they could understand.

The Israelites, King Saul and I have more in common than I want to admit. It doesn't take much for my perspective to be skewed.

First, my problems may not be a 9 foot giant that wants to feed my flesh to the birds of the air, but they can be just as life-threatening and every bit as intimidating. Thankfully, they aren't right now, but I know others who are going through those kinds of trials.

My "Goliaths" really aren't anything to slow me down, except when my perspective is "off" and I allow them to appear bigger than they really are.

Regardless, any Goliath that comes my way IS puny in comparison to God. Just as David rightly viewed God's power and capability over the Philistine warrior's appearance, proper perspective puts any circumstance into its proper place.

Second, I too easily forget who and Whose I am. I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I am fully known - AND even being fully known - the good, the bad and the ugly - I am fully loved. I am adopted by the King of all kings - making me royalty.

When I forget my identity in Christ, I see myself as less than and not good enough. I treat myself poorly and allow others to do the same. I don't fulfill the roles that God intends me to fill. My obedience to Him becomes drudgery. I "have to" instead of I "get to."

When my perspective is self-centered instead of God-centered, sin creeps in. Jealousy, envy, and pride keep my eyes focused on anything except who God says that I am.

Third, despite my life circumstances and how I view myself, God IS doing something bigger than me and my understanding too. His word tells me that He is working and weaving ALL things together for His glory and my good.

Even if my perspective is off, He is still accomplishing His goals. His plans cannot be thwarted or denied. He has the victory over all in this sinful world and nothing is impossible for Him.

I cannot know because it is beyond my comprehension. I cannot see it with a microscope or a telescope because it is more than my mind can take in. His word tells me that what He is doing is more than I can ask for or imagine . . .

Someday, my faith will be sight. I won't have to ask for His perspective because I will see me and this world the same way He does. I will no longer be tricked by a limited perspective and the altered view that comes with it.

In the meantime, I am praying for God's perspective on my circumstances. I am praying to see myself the way He does. I am praying that I would be intentionally aware that He is doing something in and around me that is bigger than me.

Mercy In, Mercy Out

Confession time.

I rank sins.
I judge people.
I make assumptions.
I consider myself better than others.
Somehow I think I am more deserving of God's grace.
I am prideful.

"It's natural to want mercy for yourself but justice for others." -Paul David Tripp

This quote from my devotional this weekend stung.

My ladies' Bible study was on Bathsheba last week. I found myself questioning her motives and wanting to read between the lines to judge her as a naive victim or a cunning, seductive adulteress. The scripture doesn't tell us the condition of her heart or really even any words from her tongue, yet, I wanted to label her and decide whether or not I like her.

As we discussed her fall into temptation the following verse was brought up:

"Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire." James 1:13-14

The very things that tempt us reveal to us what we truly desire. If we didn't desire what tempts then it wouldn't be tempting to us. (The desire for dark chocolate is greater than my desire to lose the weight I put on over the holidays. White chocolate is not tempting to me in the least, because I have no desire for for it.)

David and Bathsheba had a sexual desire and so found temptation in each other's arms. If they had not desired each other, there would have been no temptation. Each of them could have recognized the desire, the temptation and then avoided the sin.

The next verse in James is this:

"Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." James 1:15

David and Bathsheba's sin resulted in a lot of death. Her husband's, other soldiers, their baby . . . The wages of sin is always death and the consequences of sin always weigh heavy on the most innocent. Then and now.

The Holy Spirit pricked my heart in all of this. My desire to judge others is not limited to a dead queen of Israel. My desire to judge others shows the temptation I face to be prideful and self-righteous.

For example:

With many, many other evangelical Christians this week I watched with sadness as the governor of New York signed pro-abortion legislation into law. I read many, many social media posts on both sides of the issue. Feelings are understandably deep and raw.

It is natural to want justice for the loss of lives of the unborn. We are called to stand up for the weak, the vulnerable and the voiceless. My heart breaks for the babies lost to this evil . . .

But my heart also breaks for the momma who feels like she has no choice and for the woman who feels she must choose between her life and her child's.

There are "statistics" and "facts" and "testimonies" that can all be twisted to support any side of any argument. However, as Christians, our eyes have been opened by grace alone to the truth. The god of this world, continues to blind mankind to the horrendous act of child sacrifice to the idols of convenience, greed, and fear. Our desires for these things leads to the temptation to succumb to this evil, lessoning it through "reason," and the sin "fully grown brings forth death."

Satan is our enemy. He is the one tempting us - not the people or governor of New York, not the victim of rape or incest, not the mother who desperately wants the baby that the test has said is not-viable.

If I am not careful, my desire to be right, to judge others, and to see myself as better than will lead me to a place of self-righteous sin. Instead, the Holy Spirit is giving me a different mindset with a fresh understanding.

I hurt for "these" people. I can't imagine being in the position of the mother that is facing those test results - especially if she does not have the hope in Christ that I do. I want to tell them that God does not make mistakes, that He brings good out of bad things and that He still is in the business of confounding doctors and medical professionals.

It is by faith through grace alone that I have the understanding that I do. It is that same faith through grace that reminds me that my sins are just as black as the abortionist doctor. It is that same faith through grace that allows me to leave the justice I seek to God and gives me the ability to share the mercy I have been given to others.

The wages of my sin is death. God has removed my sin from me as far as the east is from the west. He has shown me extreme mercy by taking away the ultimate consequence for my sin. He took it from me and gave it to Jesus. He died in my place. I didn't deserve it. I didn't ask for it. I didn't even know I needed it when He did it.

When I take all this into account, I am in awe . . . Like the Pharisees that slipped away, one-by-one when Jesus told them that whoever was without sin could throw the first stone at the woman caught in adultery, I know that I am the last one to condemn anyone.

When I stop and reflect on the mercy I have received, I have mercy for Bathsheba and I have mercy for all of those caught up in the abortion debate. I cannot judge or condemn. I am not any more worthy to receive His grace than anyone else.

When I contemplate the grace that God has shown me, I am motivated to extend grace to others, to whomever He brings into my life, to minister to them with the same grace and compassion He has bestowed to me. Because He continues to be faithful to show me mercy, so I too can show mercy to others who don't deserve it either.

Tuesday I will go to my board meeting of our local crisis pregnancy center. If I am like Bathsheba and others are only left to judge me by my actions, not knowing my words or motives - my prayer is that they will not doubt the difference God's grace and mercy have made in my life because of how I am able to show it to others.

As He forgives me for my sin, showering me with His mercy and grace, I am able to pour it out on others too. It's not of me. It originates in Him. He gives it to me and, as a result, I can't keep it to myself.

Mercy in, mercy out.

The Meaning of Pro-Life

Pro-Life is SO much more than Anti-Abortion.

It is for every life - the down-syndrome, the homeless, the druggie, the refuge, the convicted rapist and murderer.

It is more than a political talking point or side of a social media argument.

It is how we treat -with respect and love- those with opposing political and social views and ideals, the liberal, the homosexual, the woman who has had an abortion, the if-it-weren't-for-grace-so-would-I.

It is an active investment of our money, our time, our homes, our lives in the messy, broken, hurting lives of people.

Only when we actually live Pro-Life will we be given the platform to explain why life is so precious. When our actions mirror that of Christ's, not motivated by duty, but like His, motivated by love will we be able to speak into the hearts of these lives around us . . .

You are beautifully made in the image of God.
You matter.
You were created with a purpose.

Because of that . . .

You have worth.
You are significant.
You are loved.

All of us, whom He has given life, are important.

Whether it is the cashier at the grocery or the neighbor across the street - God has placed people, lives, all around us to touch, to reach out to with love, to show that we are Pro-Life.

Or maybe we just need to realize, that being Pro-Life should shape how we treat the migrant worker without questioning if he is here illegally or not judging the teen who doesn't understand her value to God and dresses provocatively.

When you say you're Pro-Life, take a moment to consider what that really means.

When you claim to be Pro-Life, be more than anti-abortion . . .

In The Now

I accepted Christ as a 7 year old child. I understood that I was a sinner and that I could not save myself. I knew I did not want to go to hell.

I was baptized and fully confident in my "fire insurance." If I were to die, I was assured that I would go to heaven.

My past was redeemed, my future was secure, but what about what happens in between?

Have you ever noticed how much of the Bible is written in the present tense? I don't just mean the letters in the New Testament. The Old Testament's psalms, proverbs and more are written loaded down with the truth of who God is and what God does in the present tense.

My devotional this week looked at the present tense of just one verse, Galatians 2:20:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (emphasis mine)

The present tense truth is based on the past tense truth of who Jesus is and what Jesus did - "I have been crucified with Christ . . . . in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." 

David Mathis was quoted by Desiring God on Instagram the same morning I read the devotional mentioned above. Mathis also reminded me of the "present tense" of God's Word. He said, "God's written word . . . is what the Holy Sprit 'says.' Not just 'said.' Not just 'has spoken.' But 'says.' He is speaking."

Then there was this quote on a church sign on my way to work: "Don't say God isn't speaking if your Bible is closed." 

God is not done working in us just because we have been saved. He isn't just waiting to call us home for some future reward. He has a plan for our here and now. He wants to grow us and He wants to talk to us through His Word. 

Our present tense is a big deal. 

In middle school, the idea of discipleship was explained to me and I began the "now" part of my faith. I learned how to have a quiet time, to read my Bible, to talk to others about my faith, and other spiritual disciplines. 

Middle school was a long time ago. There have been parts of my "now" journey where I slipped into complacency and self-righteousness in those disciplines. I practiced a religion instead of pursuing a relationship. But through it all, God was patiently kind with me. He never left me. He continued to lovingly pursue me. 

A big part of the reason I am writing this blog is so I have a place I can chronicle my present tense, what God is teaching me right now. 

Last week was a long week. In some aspects, it was a hard week. But God . . . as I was in His Word, He did speak to me. He lived in me by the faith that He gives me. faith in who He is and what He has done (exactly like the verse above). As I sought Him, He revealed Himself to me. Yes, it was a hard week, but He was a good, good God, faithful in all the ways. AND that faith, my faith, grew. 

I want to share one more quote from my devotional this week: "We need to study, examine, teach, preach, counsel, and encourage one another with the nowism of the gospel of Jesus Christ." 

Until I hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want, no I need, to live in the now of what God is teaching me, doing in me and accomplishing through me. 

Yesterday is gone. 

Tomorrow is not promised. 

What does the "now" of today look like? What He is teaching me through His Word? How am I applying that truth? 

My "now" with Jesus this week proved over and over again the truth of who He is in my "now." 

The gospel IS good news just not for my past (covering my sins) or for my future (the promise of paradise) but especially for all that takes place in between. 

First Things First

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

The first place I am seeking to be intentional is in my relationship with God. Everything else falls into the category of "all these things," and I am claiming His promise that those "things" will be "added to" me as I intentionally pursue Him first. 

• When I look at my life from His perspective, I am able to see "things" from the vantage point of eternity and the momentary circumstances soon pale in comparison. 
• Remembering that my life is not my own, but was bought with a price, points me back to the gospel and how it puts "all these things" in their proper place. 
• Knowing that my spiritual life supersedes and impacts all other aspects of "my" life, the truth of the above scripture has already proven trustworthy throughout my life. God has never failed to keep this Word to me. 

So, how am I being intentional in my walk with Christ? Where does my intentionality start? While I am still praying through the specifics, (I understand that "the experts" insist that resolutions and goals need to be specific to be successful.) I am hesitant to make some grand proclamation of some plan that I can't follow through with . . . 

I know I NEED to develop my time in the Word AND my time in prayer. As a result, here is my plan three days in: 

I am reading Paul David Tripp's New Morning Mercies. It's a daily "gospel" devotional, with each entry pointing the reader back to the truth of the good news. It isn't long but it's got depth and every page ends with a short scripture reading to meditate on. 

To keep it from becoming just one more thing I read in the mornings -along with news, emails and Facebook, I have begun a journal of sorts. After the date, I am copying/writing a few quotes of Tripp's and my own that I want to reflect on throughout the day. Then, a simple one line or two, I am writing a bottom line prayer, asking God to take my intentions and do with them whatever He will. 

Realizing my prayer life needs more intentionality than this, I expect and plan to be more intentional in how and when I pray. 

Realizing that I need to be in the Word more than this, I have a couple more books that I can't wait to dig into and read this year too. (Thanks Momma for the great Christmas gifts: None Like Him, by Jen Wilkin and Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simmons)

Realizing that when I am intentional in seeking Him first, "all these things," aka - my other areas of New Year's resolutions, "will be added." The health goals, the job goals, the personal/relationship goals will come too. They will come as a result of my pursuit of the first goal - to intentionally seek Him first. 

So, what are your goals for the New Year? Let me encourage you to put seeking Him first as first on your list . . . Test God and see if He doesn't keep His Word to you too. See that if you seek Him first, He doesn't help you meet the rest of your goals along the way. 

Who knows? Maybe as we place Him first, He will edit the rest of our goals? Either way, we know that He is good and the that He finishes what He starts. Sounds like a good resolution/accountability partner to me!

Intentionality

So it's January 2 and maybe this post is a day or two or more late. And chances are, you have already read a bunch a blogs and posts about resolutions and such. You may have your act together and find yourself feeling pretty good about the start of 2019.

Honestly, I wasn't feeling it this year. Maybe it was my unusual Christmas season. The week between Christmas and New Year's seemed to take an eternity and didn't seem "right" in the least. Numb and overwhelmed, how could I make resolutions for an entire year when I couldn't even seem to function through December 30th?

We hosted GOOD friends for NYE and found ourselves sharing various Bible reading plans. Wally shared how he had written his own plan for reading through the Word and I found myself realizing that this type of intentionality was just what I needed.

Intentionality.

I am blessed to gather monthly with a group of girlfriends. Before we leave for the evening, we share prayer requests and praises. More than not, each of us asks the rest of us to pray for some kind of "intentionality" - in our parenting, our marriages, our jobs, and our relationships - especially with our relationships with God.

We are all busy. We are all distracted. We are all guilty of procrastination.

January of a new year is an excellent time to start something new. But so is any Monday - it is the start of a new week. In the book of Lamentations, the Bible tells us that God's mercies are new each morning, so we could technically start something "new" each day....

By God's grace, we don't have a shortage of new beginnings- what we seem to lack is the intentionality to do something with those fresh starts. It's the intentionality that will take a resolution and make it a habit. It's the intentionality that will break the habitual sin's hold over us.

Where do we get that intentionality? My girlfriends and I know that we start with prayer, that's why we continue to pray for it. But it also is up to us. As we work it out, He works it in -

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have already obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."  Philippians 2:12-13 (emphasis mine)

Work implies intentionality. Nothing is ever completed without intentional work. We are called to obey, to work, but we aren't asked to do all the work on our own . . . The Holy Spirit and I do the work together.

A little intentionality on my end will be met on God's end in ways I can only anticipate, but know that they will be fulfilled for my good and His glory.

So that's my resolution this year - I resolve to be intentional trusting that whatever the intentionality produces is a result of God's work within it.

Intentional in my parenting, my marriage, my job, and my relationships, especially my relationship with God - I guess that is my word for 2019 - "Intentionality"

I am hoping this shows up in my posts here . . . I guess I'll just have to be intentional about that too.